When the Wound Is Still There: Practical Steps for Adult Survivors of Childhood Abuse (And the Parents Who Want to Help)
- cellarinkdesignco
- 6 days ago
- 3 min read
At Moses Movement, we’ve learned something sacred in our work: just because the abuse happened in childhood doesn’t mean the pain ends when you grow up. In fact, for many survivors, the real work of healing doesn’t begin until adulthood—when the suppressed memories resurface, the coping mechanisms begin to unravel, or the weight of the silence becomes too heavy to carry alone.
This blog is for you, the adult survivor who is finally saying, “It’s time to deal with this.”And it’s also for you, the parent who’s learning—maybe for the first time—what your child endured, and wants to be a part of their healing, not their harm.
You are both seen. You are both needed. And you are not alone.
🔨 For the Adult Survivor: Steps Toward Healing
Whether your abuse was emotional, physical, sexual, or spiritual, here are steps you can take today to begin rebuilding what was broken.
1. Acknowledge the Truth (Without Shame)
Admitting what happened to you doesn’t make you weak. It makes you brave. Naming your story is the first step toward reclaiming your power.
🛠️ Try this:Write a short letter to your younger self. You don’t have to relive every detail—just let them know you see them now, and you’re going to fight for their healing.
2. Find a Safe Space to Process
Whether it’s a therapist, support group, trauma-informed ministry, or mentor—healing happens in community. You don’t have to heal alone.
🛠️ Try this:Search for a trauma-informed Christian therapist or join a support group like ASCA or a Celebrate Recovery step study.
3. Reclaim Your Voice & Boundaries
Abuse silences. Healing restores voice. Give yourself permission to say:
“I don’t owe anyone access to my story.”
“It’s okay to grieve.”
“I get to say what I need.”
🛠️ Try this:Start a “truth journal.” Write one empowering truth about yourself every day—even if you don’t believe it yet.
4. Let Faith Be a Place of Healing, Not Fear
If your trauma was tangled with religion, it’s okay to wrestle with God. He’s not afraid of your questions. Jesus weeps where you weep—and He came to set the captives free.
🛠️ Try this:Read Psalm 34:18 or Isaiah 61 aloud over yourself every morning for a week. Let the truth of God’s nearness begin to anchor your healing.
💛 For the Parents of Adult Survivors: How to Be a Healing Presence
Learning that your child was abused—especially if it happened on your watch—can be devastating. But it’s never too late to become a safe place.
1. Believe Them. Without Conditions.
Even if the details are hard to hear. Even if it challenges your memory or trust in someone else. Saying, “I believe you. I’m so sorry this happened to you,” might be the most healing words your child ever hears.
2. Take Responsibility Where Needed
If you missed signs, ignored their pain, or failed to protect them—acknowledge it. Not to carry shame, but to model humility and open the door to trust.
🛠️ Try this:Say: “I wish I had known. I see things more clearly now. I want to support you however you need.”
3. Don’t Center Your Guilt—Center Their Healing
It’s natural to feel heartbreak, grief, and confusion. Just be careful not to make their disclosure about your feelings. They need your presence, not your defense.
4. Do Your Own Work
Your child is not responsible for your healing, and you’re not responsible for fixing theirs. But walking parallel journeys can bring restoration to both of you.
🛠️ Try this:Read books like “Try Softer” by Aundi Kolber or “The Body Keeps the Score” by Bessel van der Kolk. Find a counselor to process your own emotions.
📘 Free Tools to Help You Begin
From Moses Movement:
From ASCA:
📘 Download the Survivor to Thriver Manual
✝️ The Cross Redeems What Trauma Tried to Steal
Jesus is not distant from trauma. He was betrayed, abused, stripped, mocked, and crucified—yet He rose. And so can you. The same power that raised Him from the grave lives in you. That means shame is not your story. Silence is not your legacy. And healing is not only possible—it’s promised.
🤝 We’re With You
At Moses Movement, we exist to help survivors—and those who love them—step into freedom. Whether you're an adult survivor, a parent trying to understand, or someone in ministry wanting to help, we’re here to equip and empower you with truth, tools, and hope.
💬 Need someone to talk to? Reach out to us at athorne@mosesmvmt.com
📥 Visit our growing resource library: mosesmvmt.org/resources
You are not broken. You are becoming.
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